broadaxes | (no subject)

ooc: from here

Don't say you're sorry, you didn't do anything, stupid.

no, it just means I feel bad. that it hurts that you hurt. does that make sense?

Don't know that one.

oh.

at your door. is it open?

Key is under the mat
I'm in the bathroom

okay.
the noise will just be me.

[There's the noise of the door opening from below, and Annie's small, nervous voice calls out:] Johanna?

[Johanna is sitting in the tub. She has all her clothes on, and no water is around her. She's waiting for Annie for that. She calls out and her voice echos off the undecorated walls and porcelain fixtures. The tub is huge and has four clawed feet.]

Up here! I'm decent for once.

Coming! [Annie follows the sound of her friend's voice up to the bathroom. She wouldn't have cared even if Johanna was naked, but seeing her sitting in the tub made her giggle.

She'd taken many a bath fully clothed. Where water disturbed Johanna, it calmed her when nothing else could.]

Hi. [She waves briefly, before coming over toward the tub.] Bath, not a shower, right?

[Johanna also wouldn't have cared if she was naked. Annie's got all the same stuff, who cares? She turns her head and looks up at Annie, an unusual innocence written on her face.]

Did you bring food?

[Jo climbed out of the tub and pulled her shirt off.]

Yeah, shower is what they used in the Capitol. Somehow, being submerged in a hundred gallons of water seems easier to take.

Yes, but for after.

[It was never a great idea to swim after eating. Bathing after eating was a logical thing to avoid, based on that logic.

Annie takes a seat near the tub and starts to run the water.] They had me in tubes. Locked me in, filled it up. They'd add the red sometimes... [Annie glances up at Johanna for a moment, taking in her form. She's beautiful. She's always thought it.

She looks away again, and busies herself trying to find the perfect bubble bath.]

Had me watch your Games, too.

[They'd waited till the Tributes were gone, then the remaining ones had been rounded up and brought in.]

[Johanna throws her shirt over into a corner and proceeds with her pants, shoving them down. She notices Annie's eyes on her. She always notices eyes on her.]

My Games? Why?

[She's clueless to whatever the others went through. Enobaria and Annie, at least. She knew what Peeta went through. She could hear it.

Now Johanna stands in the middle of the cold, clean bathroom with just her black underthings on. She doesn't shy away, because she doesn't care. She just listens and watches Annie.]

No, [she shakes her head again, running a hand through the water of the tub.] the Quell. They had me the whole time- to-- to keep Finnick in-line.

[If was no mistake her name had been drawn. She knew that deep down, and she'd always known it. The Capitol was insideous in nearly every action they took. The Quell had been rigged, from what was written inside that box, to who was reaped. She wouldn't have been surprised if the original reapings were rigged, too.

But those times were over.

Annie looks over at Johanna, giving her another soft smile. She was so beautiful, Johanna. She'd always thought that.] Bubbles?

[Annie's voice had a soothing effect on Johanna. She used to think it sounded too dreamy, too crazy, too weird. But now as it echos around the bathroom, it's nice. Her nerves stop jumping up and down for a second.]

Oh, those Games. Right. I saw you were reaped. Fucked up thing to do. Just like how they reaped Haymitch.

[Johanna liked Haymitch too. She liked people more than she let on. Defense tactic or scarring from her life in the Capitol, who knows. Annie asks about the bubbles and Johanna strips off her last bit of clothing and walks over to stand near Annie. She wants to reach out and put a hand on her shoulder. Anything. Touch her somehow. But Johanna is broken.]

I think I have some, over there. That might be nice. Let me get in first. Let me lean on you.

[Annie knows her way of speaking is unusual, her tones, the roundabout way she'd say things when she couldn't remember words, how she'd lose her words if she got too upset and retreated too far into her head. The whimsical that she gravitated toward;]

Very fucked up.

[The vulgar word sounds so strange falling from Annie's lips.

She adored Haymitch, too. He was one of the few that actually treated her like a fully capable human, not some mad character. He never wrote her off. He listened and he humored her, and he'd gotten her incredibly drunk on her visit to District 12 during her Victory Tour.]

Okay. [She follows Johanna's glance and nods, making note of where the bubble bath could be.] Yes please- so you don't slip. [She braced herself to help Johanna in.]

[Johanna used Annie's strength to slip her toe into the water. She pulls it back for a second before immersing her whole leg in. Then the other. She stands there for a second-- she's released Annie's arm by now. With a sigh, she plops down into the water, sloshing some over the side.]

Yeah, bubbles. Makes it easier to pretend I'm not in water.

[After a moment, she asks a question.]

When did you first learn to swim?

Okay. Lots of bubbles.

[Annie waits until Johanna's situated in the tub decently before she moves to find a bottle of bubble bath. It doesn't take too long, and she pours the sweet smelling liquid over the water, watching it gently foam and bubble.]

Oh- uhm. I don't remember. [She admits it sheepishly.] Babies can swim. Can hold their breath, too, if you put them under water. Then you grow more and you forget.

I used to teach it. Children were... young. Three? Let them get used to it, teach them to respect water. I... I could teach you. If you wanted... Maybe it would make water easier?

[Johanna smiles serenely when the bubbles start to grow. The foam starts to cover her forearms, and she reaches up to gather her hair. No hair tie, so she just holds it with her eyes closed, listening to Annie.]

Babies can swim? [That causes her to open her eyes and turn towards Annie.]

We can do that. It'll be warm out soon, there's a lake not too far from here. I could try it.

Here. [Annie takes Johanna's hair from her, holding it up so she doesn't have to deal with it. Johanna needs to soak and be relaxed, not worry about holding her hair.]

Yes. They live in water, before they're born. [More or less. Annie wasn't exactly the most educated person in the world. Most of her school days were spent learning how to stab someone.]

Okay! We can make it a nice thing for you. So you start to have good memories- a picnic! On a nice day, make a camp on the beach... [The way they did it in District 4 some days.] If we stay late enough, we can have a bonfire!

[Johanna's days were spend throwing axes and wrestling her brothers. Everyone under 18 was being trained.

She tries to hide the smile when Annie takes her hair up in her hands. It feels nice, someone touching her hair. Anyone touching her. She forgot for a moment, what it feels like to be worried how her hair feels or smells. This was her first time bathing in a week.]

Aw, setting those poor trees on fire? Annie, Annie, Annie...

Hush, no! [Annie laughs, her fingers beginning to work through Johanna's hair, working the grease through it. She wasn't going to push to wash Johanna's hair, but at the very least she could try to tame it somewhat.]

Driftwood, mostly. [District 4 was an odd district. It was driftwood and concrete, beautiful and cruel. Storms would ravage the more coastal parts, sailors would often be lost at sea on their expeditions. But all districts had their beauty- she'd seen them all, she could attest to that- and their cruelty. Hers just happened to have sun and sand. But you could see the wear-and-tear in the weatherbeaten signs, in the rough hands of it's citizens, the families who wait for boats to return.]

We could catch fish, too.- a shore lunch- cook them right there. [Annie, as it turned out, was a very competent chef. She'd found learning ways in which knives could be used as things other than weapons had been extremely helpful to her. And Finnick.] I think you'd like it a lot.

[she pauses.] Tell me if I hurt your hair.

[Johanna laughs too, a bit of a bray than a laugh. She closes her eyes as Annie moves her fingers through her hair, feeling safe for the first time in a long time. It's nice.]

Driftwood is really cool. The water's curved and formed it. District Four and Seven could get along pretty well. I might take some of it home with me, carve you a mermaid.

[Johanna's mother worked her fingers down carving furniture for the wealthier inhabitants of Seven. Her father was a lumberjack, and her brothers worked in the paper factory. Well-- they did, until Johanna refused to be a prostitute. Knowing that's what they did to Victors, Johanna felt sorry for Finnick. And Jo doesn't feel sorry for anyone. She went into mama bear mode. Maybe that's why she's so fond of Annie-- their connection, Finnick.]

I'll eat fish, I'll watch you fish, but I won't fish. And nah, you can't hurt me, Annie.

Oh! [Annie exclaims dreamily, a light giggle escaping.] Yes, please. I would like that. Very much. It'll go on the mantle.

[She and Finnick kept a mantle- the tridents he'd used in his games were proudly displayed, along with Annie's knives and their crowns. There was a picture of Annie's family there, and Finnick's, Mags, her District partner. For a long time, the display had made Annie sad, and she'd more than once torn everything down. But now, she recognized it as an altar to those that had made them who they were. What made them so strong.]

Why won't you fish?

[She rubs her fingers along Johanna's scalp, massaging gently.] Don't be so sure.

[There's that soft smile that only Finnick and Annie get to see. It makes sense that they found each other and they're the only ones Johanna lets in. They're alike in one way or another, they have the same shape. Fit right into her heart.

Johanna had seen the mantle. It was a nice thought, but Johanna felt nothing for disdain. She decided bite back the words about it being nicer to look at than what's up there now.]

I don't know, I don't like killing living things. Not since-- Not since I did already, you know. Trees are alive. They breath.

[Johanna wasn't wrong.]

Oh.

[her fingers start to make work of Johanna's short, curly hair, weaving her hair back and out of her face.] I understand.

[Fish were food. They weren't your friends, Annie was raised to know that. But she'd been raised to kill children like the rest of the Careers. And she'd done it.

Like she killed the tribute from 7 that had decapitated her district partner.]

Uhm... Well, maybe we'll have salad?

[Johanna saw Annie kill the kid from Seven. She knew that kid. But she didn't hold it against this girl, especially now while she was cradling her in such a vulnerable state.

Johanna killed three kids in her games. Only three. But she still won. In the Quell, she killed only one more. She wanted to keep her counts low. She remembered waiting them out in the woods and starving, hoping they would all kill each other first. By the time she was in the Quell, she kind of didn't care. She did now that it was over, and was glad there wasn't more blood on her hands.]

No, Annie, we can have fish. I just ... you catch mine for me? I'm not good at it. I'll make the fire. I'm not one of those veggie people. We have steer in Seven. I eat meat.

[Annie had, in the end, killed four. She'd killed someone in the blood bath, the girl from seven, a boy from ten, she her final competitor- a girl from two.

To say nothing for peacekeeper she'd stabbed during her time being held in the Capitol.

Or all of those she'd gotten killed on her behalf- her mother, father, brother. Mags. Her district partner, Sebastian. Their blood was on her hands, too.]

If you want. You know there aren't many cows here. I'll fish for you.

[They really must have been stupid to bring in kids straight from the Quarter Quell, or former victors. They knew how to fight, how to kill, when to strike. Johanna didn't kill a peacekeeper when they dragged her into the Tribute center. But he certainly wasn't okay after that.]

Okay, you can fish for me.

[She looks over at Annie and smiles. A real smile, not one of her faking it smiles, or one of her evil little grins. A genuine one.]

Thank you, Annie. I know... [How much she meant to Finnick.]

Okay. Promise.

[There's something in the smile that makes Annie smile brighter, the whole room feel a bit lighter.]

No, no thanks. I don't need them. [She lets one hand dip into the water, gently playing with the bubbles.] We're friends. But thank you. [It was still an important gesture. She returns her hands to Johanna's hair, working to finish the braids off.]

Your hair is so pretty.

[Johanna always ignored compliments. They were usually someone trying to sweet talk her. And as a kid, she was gawky and weird.]

I have my daddy's hair. My mom would braid it for me all the time. It was the only way to keep it from flying away.

[She sounds a little sad but quickly changes to focus on Annie.]

Red is way better. It's firey. It's unique. The cameras probably loved you.

[One hand comes up out of the water to twirl a finger in a chunk of Annie's hair closest to Johanna from the tub. She twirls it up like a piece of pasta and then lets it go.]

[Annie giggles softly at the mental image.] It's good hair. I like it.

She shakes her head, ducking it slightly so her hair covers her face. Her hair was a shield for her, a comfort item. It's nice for Johanna to touch it so softly. She shrugs.]

They said I was beautiful. [Finnick had said she was beautiful. Finnick, whom she'd fallen for just like all the other girls. and he'd fallen for her, somewhere between the reaping and her victory tour.] But strange. I-- I've always been... [She takes one hand off of Johanna's hair to tap her temple lightly.] Always been off. Not who you really want from Four. A disappointment. [She had started cracking under the pressure almost immediately, freezing up in her Interview for what felt like an eternity.

She was the Victor people wanted to forget.]

They must have been proud of you, though.

Who? The Capitol? My parents were proud, sure, but not for long. The Capitol loved me, they loved what an actress I was.

[Johanna brushes Annie's curtain of hair back a little so she can at least see her lips when she spoke.]

You are beautiful. I can see what Finnick saw in you. He said... he said you crept up on him. So maybe not at first, but your sneaky ass got him.

[She smiles wide, all incisors. Johanna hopes Annie knows she's joking.]

Besides, we're all crazy now.

Mine, too.

[But she remembers the look in their eyes when they spoke to her for the first time after her games, and realized just how different things were going to be now that their only daughter was, as they were calling it, crazy.

They didn't have to swim in their disappointment for long.]

Oh shush! I thought- I had a big crush on him. All the girls did. But I met him and thought-- thought he was just flirting with me to give me hope. [Everything surrounding her games is fuzzy, but she remembers calling Finnick out on it on the train.

She remembers his arms around her the night before she entered the Arena.]

No- not like me, at least.

[The water makes that beautiful little swoosh when Johanna moves in the tub, drawing closer to the edge. The tub is huge, very fancy, too fancy. It's what she's become accustomed to. But that's not the point. The point is that she grabs the porcelain edge and lifts herself up a little. Her small breasts have rivulets of water rushing downwards. In a very uncharacteristic movement, Johanna quickly reaches out to kiss Annie quickly on the lips. It could really mean anything. Friendship. The beginnings of something else. Pity. The kind of love you have for a daughter. So many things.]

You're not crazy, Annie. You're just fine.

[Johanna is beautiful. She's one of those women that's even more beautiful naked. Annie's lips part for a moment in surprise as she looks up at the woman in front of her.

Her lips are unexpected, and her green eyes fly open. When Johanna pulls back, Annie stays, hovering, looking at her as she goes through the moment over and over again in her head, trying to figure out exactly what had just happened.

It was a good kiss. Friendly, warm, caring. Loving.]

You're fine, too.

[Johanna cracks a smile. She wasn't sure why she did it, but it was a good reaction. Sometimes she did things to see how good they'd feel, or how bad they'd hurt.]

We're so fucked up, Annie. The Arena messed us up good. It's okay to admit it. But we're still fine. Fucked up but not ... broken.

[Johanna used the word 'broken' many times in her sessions with her therapist-- recently, not back when she was in thirteen. In thirteen, she just lied and laughed and screamed at him.]

[Annie looks away, pushing some of her hair back in front of her face just barely. Mostly, it's just to feel something grounding.]

No. I broke. Everyone saw.

[Johanna swishes around in the tub. It's large enough and she's small enough to sit sideways and look at Annie. She holds onto the lip of the tub, crossing her legs under her.]

It's braver to do what you did, Annie. To show emotion in this place... it's a big deal.

[She presses her lips together, looking back down at the water, at the tile floor.]

Thought... everyone thought I was weak.

[Johanna shakes her head.]

Only the fuckin' dumb and mean people thought that.

[There's something so wonderfully blunt about Johanna that's got Annie grinning, laughing. It's easier to understand things, in the long run, when they're put bluntly. Johanna understands that. Johanna doesn't treat her like a child.]

No! [But she's smiling, hoping it's true.]

fuckboys!

Edited 2019-02-08 12:18 (UTC)

oh, duh. that was a stupid question.

There's a lot of those, gotta be careful.

I don't really believe in being careful.

I'm only careful with words. Not all words.

I probably should be, but... oh well.

Nah, you're young, don't be careful

glad we agree

don't we usually

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TFLN overflow for ~anniesgonemad

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make it "modern" or an AU or canon or whatever u want <3

oh no that's too much pressure

shh no no lmao just go with it

cry okay

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been out of town, tags will come regularly now!

fab

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TFLN @wolf_blood

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